Wait for the Lord

This post is part of the 31 Days Writing Challenge, in which a group of writers post a piece every day for the month of October. Want to read all of my posts in this series? Click here

Day 21

Tuesdays in October, I’m sharing scripture that the Lord has used to work on my messy heart in my time of waiting. When waiting for peace, anything, something in the dark periods of waiting this year, Psalm 40 spoke to me about waiting for the Lord. About His goodness.

And maybe it will speak to you while you wait.

Psalm 40 (ESV)

1 I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
    out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
    making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
    a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
    and put their trust in the Lord.

Blessed is the man who makes
    the Lord his trust,
who does not turn to the proud,
    to those who go astray after a lie!
You have multiplied, O Lord my God,
    your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us;
    none can compare with you!
I will proclaim and tell of them,
    yet they are more than can be told.

In sacrifice and offering you have not delighted,
    but you have given me an open ear.[a]
Burnt offering and sin offering
    you have not required.
Then I said, “Behold, I have come;
    in the scroll of the book it is written of me:
I delight to do your will, O my God;
    your law is within my heart.”

I have told the glad news of deliverance[b]
    in the great congregation;
behold, I have not restrained my lips,
    as you know, O Lord.
10 I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart;
    I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation;
I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness
    from the great congregation.

11 As for you, O Lord, you will not restrain
    your mercy from me;
your steadfast love and your faithfulness will
    ever preserve me!
12 For evils have encompassed me
    beyond number;
my iniquities have overtaken me,
    and I cannot see;
they are more than the hairs of my head;
    my heart fails me.

13 Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me!
    O Lord, make haste to help me!
14 Let those be put to shame and disappointed altogether
    who seek to snatch away my life;
let those be turned back and brought to dishonor
    who delight in my hurt!
15 Let those be appalled because of their shame
    who say to me, “Aha, Aha!”

16 But may all who seek you
    rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love your salvation
    say continually, “Great is the Lord!”
17 As for me, I am poor and needy,
    but the Lord takes thought for me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
    do not delay, O my God!

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Peace

I’ve been trying to make Mondays in October about being around my house. And today, while I was hanging out at my house, watching the who knows what number hour of television I’ve watched in the past month, I realized that I didn’t have a post ready for today.

I actually don’t have my posts ready for this week. That hasn’t happened all month. I have been spending a few hours on every Saturday getting my posts ready, and instead, this weekend I went to my mom’s house and hung out with my family.

I’ve been doing a lot of nothing recently.

I’ve been scared and kind of sad. About nothing, and everything at the same time. Even though I usually love the fall, this year, it has brought with it a lot of anxiety. On a walk the other day, while feeling the cold through my after work uniform (IE, sweats), I stopped and almost cried.

My memories of the cold this year don’t have anything to do with my birthday or Christmas, or having fun in the cold. It makes me feel the fear that I felt when Husband-Man was very sick and didn’t get off the couch. When I had to make him go back in the house while I was cleaning the cars and parking spaces off. When I came home after work to make sure he was eating.

And I have to stop. And remind myself to not wait for everything to go wrong again. I have to be okay being at peace now, enjoying the fall and not waiting for things to be dark again.

I have to wait and ask for peace from the One who knows my heart better than I do.

Day 20

This post is part of the 31 Days Writing Challenge, in which a group of writers post a piece every day for the month of October. Want to read all of my posts in this series? Click here