The last three months, I have cried more than I thought possible. This is no mean feat. Psalm 56:8 says “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?”, I really feel like God has buckets for me.
When we found out that Cora had died, I cried so much that my head hurt until we went to the hospital for an induction and I got hooked up to an IV. I’m pretty sure that that feeling is what being hung over feels like. (I’ve never been hung over. But my eyes felt sandy, my head throbbed, lights hurt, and my stomach felt twisted up.)
I cried a lot when we got home from the hospital, and the tears have come a little slower every day. I no longer choke every time I have to tell someone that Cora died. I no long cry every time I see the car seat my sister bought her.
I cried this week when I drove past Penn Station, because I craved their french fries even when I was going through morning sickness. I cried when I realized that I’m just two weeks from her due date.
When someone that you love loses someone, or when you lose someone, let crying happen if it needs to. Don’t feel bad if I cry when I’m talking to you. Don’t feel bad if you case a crying fit. Also, don’t feel bad if you don’t have a whole lot of tears. Do what feels natural to you as you work through your grief.
(And if you’re supporting someone who has gone through a loss, it’s okay if you cry, too. Don’t emotionally vomit on them, but cry with them if you have that sort of relationship with them.)
What do you think about tears in mourning? Are you a crying? Are you not a cryer?
Let me know.
Throughout the month of October, I’m writing a series titled “Hopeful Grief” with a fabulous group of writers, doing the Write31Days challenge. To catch up, or see new posts, click here. Interested in last year’s Write31Days posts? Click here. Know someone that this series may touch? Share as you see fit.
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