So many of my friends and bloggers that I respect, have shared their birth stories on their blogs. I have spent no small amount of time pouring over their stories, laughing and crying at the highs and lows, wondering what birth story my children and I would share in the future. My first and currently only child was named Cora, and her birth was very different that what I expected, and much sooner. Her birth story begins with us learning of her death, but it is not a story of sadness, although the days leading up to her birth and her birth were the hardest of my life. It’s a story of hope. My little girl Cora was born when I was just over 27 weeks pregnant. She never got the opportunity to live outside of my womb, but I take hope in her short life. God heard my prayers for her, and loved her more than I am capable of loving her.
You may ask why her story is not one of ultimate sadness, and rightly so. Her story is sad for me. My home doesn’t have the sounds of a tiny human filling it, and what was to be her room won’t be used for that purpose. She’s not here, and as the date that she was supposed to be born nears, I am sad that I don’t get to be with her anymore. I am a mother without a baby to mother right now. But, I will see her one day. Although scripture doesn’t directly address what happens when a baby or small child dies, every reference to Christ and children is one of grace and love. In Matthew 19:14, when the disciples tried to keep children from Him, Christ said ““Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”” (ESV). The Psalms 139:13 shows the psalmist saying of God “[f]or You formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother’s womb.” I believe that my daughter was more known and loved by God than myself the moment that she began to exist, and that she is with Him now.
Her birth story is one of hope because God is still good. He has sustained my family throughout my pregnancy and loss, and He continues to do so. He is still good to me, and is good to you as well.
I want to share her story with you, not to elicit sympathy or pain, but to share for those whom miscarriage and stillbirth will touch. I want to help lift the stigma from discussing this sort of loss, and to encourage you to use your voice if you wish to.
May you find hope in your life in Him, not in spite of but because of your circumstances. May you see God working even when His movement is painful.
Throughout the month of October, I’m writing a series titled “Hopeful Grief” with a fabulous group of writers, doing the Write31Days challenge. To catch up, or see new posts, click here. You can also sign up to receive notifications when I post something new, using the link to the right. If you’d like, you can sign up for extras too, such as exclusive newsletters and personal updates, by using the “Click Here” button to the right. Want even more? Connect with me on social media.