Everything is changing.
At my old office, I was the go-to person for almost anything you could think of. I knew how to get things done, and I knew how to get them done quickly and properly. I knew everyone, and I knew what they knew. I felt like the information mafia.
And then I got a new job. I’ve been at that new job for five weeks now, and I just now feel like I know what I’m doing 1/4 of the time. I am advising over 300 students, participating in five different programs. And I’m using new systems that are completely foreign to me. And I’m working at a university that I’ve worked at before, so there are policies and procedures that I don’t know anything about.
I have to drive on the interstate both ways to get to that job, and I’m almost kind of comfortable with that twenty minute drive. But when I get on the interstate, I have to literally talk to myself and say, “[i]t’s okay, it’s okay. You know what you’re doing.”
And we got a new car. And since that new car is new to me and isn’t that 25 year old Corolla that I’m used to driving, I don’t know where it begins and where it ends. I am not good at parking it. I don’t know where the blind spots are.
And stuff keeps making me sick to my stomach. And I’m pretty sure that it’s dairy. And it makes me really uncomfortable that I can’t eat and cheese and ice cream all the time like I want.
Does it sound like I’m having a break down? Maybe a little bit?
The truth is, at first, I was breaking down. I came home and only wanted to sleep when I came home. I may have cried a couple of times because I miss my friends from my old job. And may have cried the first time I drove the new car. And I may want to cry right now because all I want to do is each cheese. Just because I know I shouldn’t, but cheese tastes really good.
But now? Here’s the truth. I’m a proud person. I LOVE knowing everything and being able to help everyone. I hate change, and one of the biggest reasons that I hate change is because I don’t know anything when stuff changes. I don’t get to be the person in control. But change is good, because it reminds me that I don’t know anything anyway. God is in control.
In Jeremiah 29, it says:
10 This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.[b] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”
Usually, we just hear the “for I know that plans I have for you” bit, and we don’t get the context. God was saying that He would fulfill His promise in 70 years. And His promise had to do with bringing His people back from exile. Where He wanted them to stay. For 70 years.
God is a bigger planner than me. He knows everything. He has a plan for everything. But that doesn’t mean that things are easy or don’t hurt. Because He uses pain. He uses us being uncomfortable to get us to remember to cling to Him.
So, I’m new. I don’t know anything. I just now know where all the bathrooms in my building are. And that’s great.
What don’t you know? How is God making you uncomfortable?